People-pleasers, good girls and toxic relationships

As people-pleasers / good girls, we can sometimes find ourselves in toxic relationships where we’re chasing a bar that’s continuously being raised. Because we’re used to the chase and the huge desire to be “good enough” we don’t see that what’s going on isn’t healthy.

It took me a long time to understand I didn’t have to chase or prove myself to be loved. And when I was in it, I thought that was the only way. Because I didn’t believe I was enough.

Gah - even writing that is hard because now I know how untrue that is and was. And I see the younger me who believed that story. I both grieve for her and love her so much. She worked so hard and she was much stronger than she believed herself to be. And she was enough and worthy.💛

Chasing a bar that keeps moving is freaking exhausting work. And as good girls/people pleasers and perfectionists it can feel almost addictive to keep chasing approval and love. Even when what we’re chasing may not really be there or never be enough. That’s the irony - we’re enough but what we’re chasing isn’t. We’re worth so much more.

The shift happens when you start loving yourself more than you want the chase. When that small voice deep down who knows you are so worthy and loves you starts getting louder. When you start taking small steps toward the accepting, loving and believing in yourself.💛

It also takes time and it can be crunchy, messy, and full of tear-stained ugly cries. And realizing you are a worthy freaking badass for just being you is worth it. Because it’s something that actually exists.✨

You are 💯 worthy. You are 💯 enough.

If you loving, compassionate judgment-free support as you stop chasing and walk toward yourself, schedule a coaching session. I’ll walk with you.💛